It started with the shepherds pies and crumbles and cakes everyone brings you when you've just had a baby. Very soon it developed into steak sandwiches and curries made and fed to me by my partner. He fed me and I fed the baby. Then before I knew it it had been eight months and I'd barely cooked a single meal. What had happened to me? I was going to be one of those stay-at-home mums who found time to delight and entertain her baby, lunch with fellow mummy friends, cook and clean not to mention run her own business.
For the uninitiated let me just say this; if you're also thinking these things about how life might be post-baby I strongly encourage you to stop reading and keep dreaming. To do both would almost certainly put a sharp and tidy halt to the dreaming and may even make you think twice about introducing a small bundle of exhausting joy into your life, which would be a very sorry state of affairs on both counts. Who doesn't want a small bundle of exhausting joy? - and who in the world wants to stop dreaming? It's the stuff of life.
On the subject of cooking then - and cleaning and lunching and running my own business - I guess there's not much more to be said, since not a lot of any of them has happened.
What did happen was I had one of those babies who most emphatically does not consider playing by himself a good way to pass the time. He's also not that into napping (or sleeping in general) and would apparently much rather be attached to me in one form or another all day (and night) long. Despite early and clearly hollow promises to not use my phone near my baby - something which lasted about an hour and a half after he was born - he now also knows beyond doubt that my phone is a highly suspicious source of competition for my attention.
Not a lot of anything get's done in my house. The photo above is indeed of a meal that I cooked, but not this year...
But while I may not be cooking or doing much of anything else, I quietly feel that, for the most part at least, I am delighting my baby (mobile phone related brain damage aside). And it's a feeling that trumps all other things I have ever in my short life experienced. That smile, that laugh, that cuddle, that yearning need to be together; nothing has ever tasted sweeter.
Not even my mums apple crumble.